Still in draft (March 2021)

368 days since departing Suisse, did life change forever?

The events of Sunday the 15th of March 2020 are etched into my brain. How did we find ourselves standing at the security checkpoint in Zurich airport, saying goodbye to Greg and having no concept of when we would all be reunited? The jet engine fans were still gently spinning from my return to Zurich only a few days prior and the prospect of another long-haul flight with two five-year-olds, in a COVID panicked world was daunting. I was barely functioning from exhaustion and the twins were completely oblivious to what lay ahead. Their world was about to change, in more ways than one.

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With multiple used face masks and two very excited little girls, we were escorted off the A350 by officials dressed as astronauts. We were greeted at Sydney’s International Airport by two very excited Grandparents and 14 days in isolation. That’s when it hit me, in 24 hours our life had changed forever. Our home was no longer Europe, we were ‘home’ after 22 years away but it wasn’t ‘home’, as ‘home’ was Europe but if ‘home’ is defined as where you spent your childhood, I was home, well almost.

Sydney Harbor from the air.

The following weeks were like a roller coaster on Santa Monica pier; red, blue, wet and yellow. Confined by the perimeter fence of a beautifully restored suburban home, we navigated with very little pain the 14 days of home isolation. We had grandparents within arms reach and you could hear the infectious noise of children enjoying the sun but the world was scared, very scared.

As international borders closed and passenger aircraft were being mothballed, with every day that passed, my anxiety was increasing; I was petrified that Greg would be stuck in Switzerland, maybe forever (ok, slight exaggeration). Thankfully that fear and some of my anxiety were momentarily eased when on the 22nd of April, Greg received a job offer from Atlassian. This was shortly followed by a very swift exit from Europe on the 1st of May and a ‘not quite a 14-day stint in a lovely hotel in Darling Harbour as a thank you present for coming ‘home’ after so long (not).

Before we move on, let’s rewind a few weeks. The period between us arriving and Greg getting the job offer was challenging. I was in incredible pain, I was trying to work, trying to be a full-time Dad with a Papa missing and no timeline of reunification, my Mum was about to start radiotherapy, my step Mum passed away, and outside of the family I literally knew one person in Sydney (who I couldn’t see), the twins were missing their Jo Jo, they were missing their teachers and more than anything they were missing their Papa.

It was awful but it was awful for everyone everywhere. We were no longer in control of our own lives, no one was. We were lucky, we had jobs, we had our health, we were staying with Greg’s parents who were incredible (generous, loving, caring, hospitable and the list goes on) and most importantly the Twiglets and I had each other. Looking back now and in hindsight, it could have been a lot f*^king worse but at the time it was horrific.

We packed almost our entire life into suitcases in 48 hours, there was no time to process that decision and there was no opportunity to say goodbye. It was the right decision but it certainly felt far from it 345 days ago.

Can I call what I felt over the coming week’s grief? Or was it pure exhaustion? I don’t really know but in hindsight, that’s certainly what it felt like.

It wasn’t just the aircraft wheels leaving runway 16 at ZRH, I was  also leaving the  continent I had called home for more than half my life.

In the days and weeks following Greg’s exit from mandatory quarantine we made the decision to move to Glebe, not the best decision we (really I) have ever made. The house was amazing but the surrounding area, not so much especially with two young children and an OCD ‘need’ to feel safe and secure (I think we all need this but some individuals need it more and I am one of the ‘some’). Verity and Delilah affectionately called our Campbell Street terrace, ‘The Trash House’.

Having only been in Glebe a few short weeks and very quickly coming to the realisation that ‘it wasn’t for us’ an amazing friend introduced us to the waterfront community of Breakfast Point. The following afternoon we jumped in the car and drove to Breakie Point (sorry I just cannot shorten it). Breakfast Point was my dream, I was in love,  I was excited, I saw a future in Australia and like most of my dreams, my amazingly beautiful husband somehow made it become a reality (and it was the right decision). I was just a little bit obsessed.

Breakfast Point was my turning point!

Breakfast Point is unique, you need to be a little unique to live here but it is amazing. It’s clean, it’s manicured like you cannot imagine, it’s on the Harbour (that’s what the marketing material says), it has gates and the people say ‘hello’. Needless to say, it wasn’t long before we departed Glebe.

Breakfast Point from the air.

As 2021 approaches and we realise living in Breakfast Point and the girls going to school in Newtown isn’t overly practical, the hunt for a new school was at full pace. There are a few options; public, private, Catholic, or homeschooling (only kidding). I have concerns over the public school and the Catholic school but the cost of the local private schools, although expensive isn’t prohibitive. Shock horror – for the first time in our lives we went for the sensible option, Catholic. Our options weren’t vast but we had a few. St Patrick’s wasn’t an option but St Mary’s had spaces. We made an appointment to meet the co-principal, I wasn’t optimistic but I also couldn’t continue the 3 hours in the car every day (ironic considering my new job). I was so wrong, you should never ever judge a book by its cover. Ben was amazing, welcoming, caring, interested, empathetic and much more. We left with the girls returning only a few hours later for orientation.

Fast forward to 2021. This is when the holes in the Swiss cheese all started to align. Living in Breakfast Point and the twins going to St Mary’s made us part of the wider community. We started meeting neighbours, meeting parents of children at school who were also neighbours, the girls had friends at school, the girls had friends at school that lived in Breakfast Point, play dates, lunch dates, champagne ice cream dates and the list just goes on. I could finally see some hope.

So, that’s where we are at. That’s my summary of Swissexit during COVID. It was hard, really hard and at times I didn’t think any of us would get through and don’t get me wrong, there are still days when we all miss Switzerland and even more so our dear friends but for now, Breakfast Point is home and I’m happy with that. What we went through is insignificant in comparison to what others have been through in the past 368 days but it was significant for us.

My world was ripped upside down and puréed multiple times but I’ve walked out the other side in a pretty good place.

Did life really change forever? It certainly feels like it at times and many aspects of my life did change forever but I cannot complain. To be honest, there is nowhere in the world I would rather be right now. We are so incredibly lucky in comparison to many others and should not take it for granted.

 All the things we take for granted, can literally be taken away without any notice.